thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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