so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
