I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
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she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am naked and annoyed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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