Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
