it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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