hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize