I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
