it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize