Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You're a waste of cheezeits
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
