so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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