I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
