The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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