do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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