When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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