I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
