I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
