i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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