I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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