Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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