We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
