please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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