Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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