Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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