she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
