no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
What a dumb baby whore.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
