i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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