Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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