That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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