he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
