I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
