She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
