No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
