well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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