How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We are all done wearing pants today
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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