i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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