Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
