Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
