What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
