It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
