Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
