u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
