and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
