FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
