i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
be right there i have to get my cape
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
