remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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