can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
