I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
