my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.