i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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