I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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