My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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