i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
