U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
