I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
