I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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