You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
