she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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