Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
