I cockslap morals
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
