I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
