It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
