i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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