either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
