Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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